YAS Podcast: Inten$ity Bankroll #142 Transcript
In this episode of YAS Podcast, host Daisy Ducati interviews multidisciplinary artist and sex worker Inten$ity Bankroll. They discuss Inten$ity’s current projects, including her feature film ‘Holy Body’, docuseries ‘Stories from the Trade’, and the community-driven reading project ‘The Reading Room is a Strip Club’. The conversation sheds light on the intersection of art and sex work, challenging common misconceptions and emphasizing the importance of authentic storytelling from within the community.
*This transcript was auto-generated and may contain minor errors.* Begin transcript after opening credits.
Daisy: Hello and welcome to YAS Podcast. We are here today. I’m so excited to interview Inten$ity Bankroll. She’s right up my alley.
AMD: I know she is.
Daisy: I know.
AMD: I cannot wait. What are you most excited about? I’m excited about the thing that we just talked about a second. I don’t wanna give it away, but what are you most excited about?
Daisy: I wanna talk about some of Inten$ity’s film projects. Mm-hmm. [00:01:00] Because that’s something that I am also getting into myself,
AMD: so I wanna mm-hmm.
I wanna know more. Absolutely. I knew you guys would be paired so Well, I knew it. Yes. Speaking of cool things, I just want everyone to see my fricking sign.
Daisy: Yes.
AMD: Look at how cool that is. I feel so professional after five years of doing the podcast, I finally have a sign behind me. It only took that long, but it’s so cute.
Daisy: It’s so legit.
AMD: I know,
right?
I love it. Thank you for noticing. But yeah, no, I’m excited to talk to Inten$ity. Um, we’ve been going back and forth a bit. Um, and she just seems so interesting and I love that there’s this connection with her to, um, stripper co-op in Los Angeles. So I know that she works with like a bunch of my friends.
Um, yeah, so I just love like the intersectionality of what’s about to happen on this episode, especially with you both being lovers of making film. So I can’t wait to hear you guys talk all [00:02:00] about it.
Daisy: Yay. I’m so excited.
AMD: Yeah.
Do you wanna bring her in the room?
Daisy: How are you?
Intensity. How are you Intensity?
Inten$ity: I’m doing well. I’m so excited to be here. Like this is so fun to me. So yeah, thank you for having me.
Daisy: It’s amazing having you. I’m so excited to hear what’s going on and talk to you about what you’ve been working on. So what have you been up to lately?
Inten$ity: Many of things.
Um, I definitely am a multidisciplinary artist in every sense of the word. Mm-hmm. So I touched many different fields and wear many different hat. So obviously I’m a sex worker, so that’s, you know, bread and butter, but I’m a artist, so I work in film, I work in multimedia. I work through movement. Um, latest I am currently in development on a feature film called Holy Body.
And I also have [00:03:00] a docuseries I’m working on called Stories from the Trade as well as , an erotic summer reading list that’s very pro-femme, pro queer. Pro hoe, um, called the Reading Room is a Strip Club. So excited about all of those things. Plus more, ’cause I don’t know how to sit down, so
Daisy: that’s so much fun.
You got so much going on. I love it.
Inten$ity: Yeah. You know, I literally have always been this person, so it’s fun to now have cl even more clarity on who I am and what I want to say. So I love that.
Daisy: And before I forget, you go by she, her pronouns, correct?
Inten$ity: Yes, she her. Okay. And yours are?
Daisy: I’m also,
she
her.
Inten$ity: Okay.
Thank you.
Daisy: Okay. So, um, let’s talk about this docuseries. What was it called again?
Inten$ity: Stories from the Trade. Mm.
Daisy: What’s that gonna be about?
Inten$ity: So, yeah, it’s, so I wanted, I kind of was, I don’t wanna say loosely inspired, but seeing so [00:04:00] much. Content online about sex workers and strippers.
Um, but I never really felt like it was coming from a lens of our voice or what we wanted to say. And so I wanted me being a stripper, a sex worker I wanted to create. And also having a whole masters in film. I’m always looking for ways to blend my talents with my and my lived experience.
Daisy: Yeah.
Inten$ity: And so I came up with the idea of to have stories from the trade where it’s very, it’s me, it’s very, I literally built these, uh, me and my partner built these Playboy.
Um. Kind of like wall. So we have this cute little background and it’s like film, like on my bed, and it’s like so intimate of just like talking about their experiences, um, how they got into the work, what it means, because I think especially with the media, it’s always portrayed typically through a male gaze of what mm-hmm.
What we do and how we got into this work. And I definitely am not seeking to glamorize it, but speak [00:05:00] true to or let others speak true to their stories. And so I’m definitely wanna get a, a wide range of experiences. So I definitely, one thing I’m really, really interested in is getting, uh, sex workers who are street based, their voices.
Mm-hmm. Because often in this kinda what we see so much and the online communities is very like pro liberation, but it’s also some experiences specifically street based that in marginalized communities that have a different perspective. So I wanna really add to the narrative and also make it more whole.
So yeah, I’m really excited about it.
Daisy: That sounds awesome. I can’t wait to see it. And like you said, it’s, it’s so common to see these stories about sex workers told from an outside perspective and like it’s, it can either be very fetishizing or just like a very one-sided perspective and it’s, I think it’s great [00:06:00] to see it like coming from sex workers about sex workers telling their own stories.
Yeah, I think that’s gonna be awesome. I can’t wait.
Inten$ity: Thank
you.
Yeah. That’s also too of like, I, I feel as though when it’s not for us by us, it’s easy to become sensationalized. Mm-hmm. And like all the sex workers I know, all the strippers I know have multiple things going on. Everyone has multiple projects.
It’s more versus like an in the media or people who don’t- some people have never met a stripper personally.
Daisy: Yeah.
Inten$ity: Some people have never met a sex worker, so they only have this idea of like who we are when it’s like, well, no, we’re just people. And I feel the same way about queer stories where it’s like, it’s all this raunchy, and I’m like, no, they’re just, we’re we’re just people.
Daisy: Yeah.
Inten$ity: So it’s like humanizing it is what I think the main goal that I see through all the art that I make. So humanizing it.
Daisy: Yeah. And it seems like a lot of people who are on the outside like don’t [00:07:00] understand that we’re also not a homogenous group. Like we’re all individual people with individual stories
Inten$ity: just
like the rest
of the world.
Like it’s, no, we cook dinner just like you cook dinner, like nothing too crazy guys.
Daisy: Totally. So how do you blend art and sex work in sort of a unified path instead of keeping them separate?
Inten$ity: Yeah, I feel like this has definitely been, I, I’ll be transparent and say that when I first got into sex work, it was, I like made a clear distinction of like, mm-hmm this is this person and this is this person, and I had to come to a place of security within myself, where I was like, I’m not compartmentalizing myself anymore because I don’t want to com. Com compartmentalize my art.
Daisy: Yeah.
Inten$ity: And so it, from there, in that perspective, that’s when I felt encouraged and [00:08:00] propelled to make it be one person. And that was reflected in my art. So now the stories that I tell are from my lived experience.
They’re from, I’m not sanitizing myself or becoming palatable. And yes, I can walk into a room and say, Hello, I have these degrees. I’ve worked at X, Y, Z companies and also this is my work and this is the story. These are the stories I’m interested in telling and, and it had to come to a space of, if that makes you feel uncomfortable, then maybe my work isn’t for you.
And maybe, maybe we aren’t aligned and that’s okay. But just being proud of who I am, the people I know, and knowing that their voices matter. And our voices matter. So it takes a lot of courage. Sometimes I get, well, what if this person isn’t gonna wanna work with me or doesn’t like this?
I’m like, but think about the people who can’t tell their stories or who can’t be- the privilege that I have to be able to walk into these rooms and tell the stories. Mm-hmm. [00:09:00] So I think that’s what really gave me the courage to do and, and blend the narratives into my work specifically and proudly I would say.
So what are some myths you’d like to break about queer sex workers, especially those who cater to straight men
Inten$ity: as That is definitely me. Um, I think that.
It’s, it’s in the name I’ve, and it is in the more macro sense of it is that sex work is work. Mm-hmm. So I don’t need to be attracted to my client or we don’t need to be attracted to our clients to create an experience to create a fantasy. And that’s what we’re really exchanging. And I’m kind of also researching too, sex work being care work. And what we’re actually doing is servicing the, the human connection. And that’s much more larger than [00:10:00] what I think people have muddied it down to so that we’re yeah, attracted to our clients will probably be the main thing that we, that our, uh, romantic relationships are mirror who our clientele is, that we can’t hold romantic relationships, which is not true at all.
I know many married sex workers. So yeah, just, I, I would say the main one would definitely be that we are not working and that we are attracted to men because many, I also know many queer sex workers and strippers. Yeah. So, yeah. And then also too of just like thinking more largely of that, you know, where the boundaries of consent go when people know that you are a sex worker and like, especially like it can get sort of weird with, um,
Between two [00:11:00] queer, same, how do I say?
Daisy: Like two queer sex workers are the same sex.
Inten$ity: Yes. And then, but still having the professionlism to not harass them. I’ve experienced that like, oh, like,
Daisy: oh yeah,
AMD: we’re both queer, da da da da. I love girls, but I still don’t want you like touching my nipples.
Like we’re at work. Yeah. So that’s been something I experienced as well. So yes, all slippery slopes, but when you have the language and the experience to advocate for what your boundaries are and what you feel comfortable with, then it kinda makes it more, puts things at ease, I would say. Mm-hmm.
Daisy: So you talk about being a deeply queer femme, working mostly with straight male clients.
How do you navigate the tension between authenticity and performance in that space?
Inten$ity: That has definitely been [00:12:00] interesting for me as far as the kinda segments I put myself into in my mind.
Daisy: Yeah.
Inten$ity: It’s not that I dislike men, but I would say me and my civvy life, I don’t necessarily feel comfortable around them.
Mm-hmm. So when I’m like with the client or seeing a client, I’ve already vetted for my comfortability, and then also me playing a role, I’m working as a fantasy. So me also having the lens of I’m doing care work and I’m also listening to this person and seeing them not for their gender, but who they are, what they wanna talk about, what they want to get from this experience makes me kind of humanize it in a way that I feel safe and comfortable, but also know that the person values what I’m giving them.
Yeah, it’s very- also, I’ve also had not the best experiences where I’m like, oh, I’m taking a [00:13:00] break because this was a lot for me. So I would say, uh, like self care of coming back to myself and, you know, just making sure that my- I feel whole and that I’m never feeling-, I have approached expert from a place of survival, but I don’t like that feeling. So when it comes to any type of uncomfort, um, especially when I’m seeing mostly straight male clients,
I always check in with myself to make sure that I’m okay, I have the things that I need, and how can I, um, stay whole and stay present, but also I think that
it’s still slippery slope. Not every day is perfect.
Daisy: Totally.
And that’s, that goes back to it being a job, like at any job, not every day is perfect and you’re gonna have some bad days and you’re gonna have some terrible clients every once in a while, like
Inten$ity: Right. [00:14:00] I definitely want, I don’t wanna sell, like everything is peaches and roses and I’m like, this is always amazing.
And I always have balance and my identity, but I don’t. So it’s like some days I’m feeling very, not performative, but I’m here to do a job. Mm-hmm. And like know what the, what that looks like. And some days I’m still wearing myself when I come to the room, so. Yeah.
Daisy: Yeah. So what does, what does self care look like for you and like how do you avoid burnout?
Inten$ity: I definitely sit alone and just relax and watch movies and do the things that I know will bring me comfort and joy. So if that’s eating a very specific meal,
Daisy: mm-hmm.
Inten$ity: If that’s dancing for myself, I have a pole in my living room if that’s dancing for myself and not for a [00:15:00] gaze or for dollars. I love that dancing for, I had to realize that dancing for others took the joy out of it for me.
And so dancing for
myself, just I had to remind myself to do that, but being still being calm, I always have so much going on. So just remembering that I need rest. rest is so important and whatever that rest looks like, it can still be movement. It can still be being active, but having a stillness within myself so I can be, not resting, but on a hike and feeling still in that way, but just being at being, finding more ways for my mind to be quiet, but enjoying them., But self, the older I get, I feel like self care is so important. It’s easy to feel like you are in a rat race and you have to be here and do that and do this, especially when you have big ideas and big goals and also in the work that we do. But it’s [00:16:00] like, it’s this quote by Audrey Lord, if I didn’t define myself for myself, I’ll be crushed into other people’s fantasies of me and eaten alive. Mm-hmm. And I just live by that. Like I have to always come back to self and whatever that looks like on that particular day.
Daisy: Yep. There’s a really interesting, a graphic. So when I first started, I worked at, uh, it was.
A place called the Lusty Lady. It was like a unionized co-op peep show. And we had this graphic up in the dressing room from Annie Sprinkle, and it was how to avoid burnout as a sex worker. And it gave all these little tips I posted every once in a while on social media just to like remind everybody but.
It’s, it has tips like, remember to take time for yourself. Remember to take time away from work and like be ready to say no to money sometimes if it’s not good for your own mental health. Mm-hmm. It’s, it’s really important to take that time and space for [00:17:00] doing your own thing and being in your own mind.
Inten$ity: Especially when like your, your body’s an instrument. Mm-hmm. And when it needs to, it needs to be tuned up, it needs to rest. But also like we’re driving our bodies with our mind. So we’re like, if I’m not physically at this place, at this time, I’m not gonna receive X, Y, and Z. So then placing value, knowing how to structure where you place value, like.
Am I valuing money today? If so, how do I pour back into myself? Am I valuing myself today? If so, how do I pour back into getting money? So I think it’s all about balance.
Daisy: Yep, totally. So we’re gonna take a quick break and uh, we’ll be back in just a moment.
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Daisy: All right. And we are back with YAS Podcast, and I am here with Inten$ity. I’m so excited. So Inten$ity you said your art is sex work, not just inspired by it. How do you approach creating with that philosophy in mind?
Inten$ity: Yeah, so it’s not, I love this question. And a few different ways. It’s obviously from, I’m the type of artist where I pull from lived [00:19:00] experiences and it’s very like inspired by, and so it’s has the rawness, it has the, a certain characteristic that you couldn’t get just from doing research.
Mm-hmm. But also that to me is very simplified in like my collaborators. I, I know sex workers who are grips, who are directors, who are screenwriters and actively filling my projects, both film and otherwise with those collaborators because they often feel unseen or that because of the work that they do that they can’t also, um be in Hollywood or be Hollywood adjacent. Mm-hmm. As independent filmmakers. So just making sure that not only am I pushing my work forward as far as the authenticity of the storytelling that I’m doing, but also at the same time I’m making room for those around me to [00:20:00] fill the roles of collaboration.
Daisy: Yeah, that’s, there’s so much talent in this industry. Yes. And like beyond just being a sex worker, there’s so much talent, uh, that can be used for so many creative projects. I think it’s beautiful.
Inten$ity: Yeah. Just
really like. Having the conversations of like, oh, you also do this. Like I’m working on this. And like, that’s why I see things of like more community events that are centered around storytelling so that we can actively see like skill sharing.
Like, oh, I’m working on this. You’ll be perfect for that. Oh, I need this. Let’s collaborate on that so we can actually, you know, build something bigger and like, but also, tell the stories that we wanna tell. Mm-hmm. And also keeping that authenticity and keeping that rawness, but also not to glamorize, but to make it whole.
Like [00:21:00] we don’t, and for example, in Holy Body, like yes, we see her taking clients like, yes, we see her day to day, but it’s not the sole focus. We also see her as a full, complete being and what her other aspirations are. The protagonist and what, what is bigger for her and what, but also in the same breath, ’cause I experienced this as well, when people hear that I went to X, Y, and Z school or hear that I’m working on this and that, and they’d be like, well why do you do sex work?
I’m like, because it’s the work that I wanna do. Like, so kinda like making it- demystifying, I feel is a big part of it as well. Yeah.
Daisy: And, uh, a lot of times, uh, a common story that I hear from other sex workers is that we’re doing sex work in order to fund our creative projects. I hear that a lot as
Inten$ity: well, and it’s like, oh, let’s, let’s, [00:22:00] let’s be clear.
Like, I’m not trying to, this is the work that I, this is a part of my work. It’s not the, because of my work, you know? Mm-hmm. And I kinda also finding the language to correct people who like belittle, I think it’s belittling ’cause it’s like, oh, you’re only doing it so that, I’m like I, my approach to it, whether it’s dancing or full service, is that I see it as care work.
Mm-hmm. I do. I feel so much that people try to make it seem as like nasty or like beneath them type of work.
Daisy: Mm-hmm.
Inten$ity: When everyone, in some way it affects- it’s people engage with it in some way or not. Yeah. And so like, and so seeing it more as like, really like, and I’m even having a epiphany now as I speak [00:23:00] of like, of seeing people or me correcting people of them saying, you know, this is work.
And kind of mapping it out of what the labor looks like. Yeah. And what we, what we are exchanging. I’m giving you something, you’re giving me something. It isn’t just about a dollar, it’s about the whole thing that you’re getting as you walk away from this encounter with me.
Daisy: Mm-hmm. And there’s so many times that we have fans or clients that reach out after and are like, thank you.
You’ve helped me so much. You’ve taught me something. Or like, helped them through a really hard time. Mm-hmm. And it, it, you realize it, it’s actually very important work. And it’s important companionship too.
Inten$ity: I had a client who saw me after their mom passed away, and the whole session, like he just cried and he just said, I thought this would make me feel better, but it didn’t.
And I just [00:24:00] held him and he cried into my bosom. And so it’s like people don’t see that part of it or like don’t understand that it’s so much more than. What the media or people who don’t know a sex worker personally boil it down to. I think that that is at the heart of my kind of mission statement from my art.
Yeah. As well as how I move through the world as a sex worker in my experiences and the others that I know.
Daisy: So what stories or themes keep coming up in your creative work that you feel are often missing in mainstream portrayals of sex work?
Inten$ity: Yeah, I feel like I definitely
touched on it a bit earlier, but just seeing, you know how you’ll see in the media, they’re a little bit better now, but it’ll be like the token black friend, and they were like one dimensional. Or it would be like [00:25:00] the girl next door who was like super sweet always. But like people are whole and nuanced.
So seeing more of the nuance of these characters where it’s not just this struggling girl who, this struggling girl is always a girl. Mm-hmm. Why were the other people that exist? So like opening up to that, um. And it being forced upon or be, or it being, um, just every day everyone makes thousands of dollars.
Like really making it a whole three dimensional, full experience of not just what they do for work, because name, anything in media that just focuses on someone going to work. It doesn’t, I can’t name one show, right. Even if it’s The Office, we were talking about the characters and what they enjoy doing in their interpersonal relationships.
It never was about t he paper company, you know? Yeah. So like making it full and whole and complete. And I feel like, [00:26:00] you know, in recent times we’ve had some, you know, more light shed upon the industry. Mm-hmm. But I would, what I hope that my work does is makes, is makes sex workers feel seen in the way that they haven’t felt seen before.
And not only that, but encourage others to tell their stories because it’s not a monolith. Mm-hmm. Even if I talk to- with Stories From the Trade. Even if I talk to 50 sex workers, there’s 50 plus more that I haven’t spoken to who has a completely different, unique, varied experience than the ones that I did.
Mm-hmm. And so just not treating the industry as a monolith and making it more visible and more humanized.
Daisy: That’s awesome. I, I’m so excited to see some of your work. Um, [00:27:00] can you tell us a little bit more about Holy Body? I’m really excited to hear about
this
one.
Inten$ity: Yeah, so I would say it’s a mix between A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night and
The Bluest Eye maybe. I don’t know. So it’s stars our girl, she doesn’t have a name yet. Okay. But, um, she, our girl, she’s a vampire sex worker who instead of getting her blood from her clients, she gets it from her lover and like a holistic compassionate way, and that’s kinda like the arc of it. But what we really see is we see what it’s like for her to have these humanized experiences with her clients.
Because of course you, you would expect, oh, a vampire sex worker, she’s killing the clients. She’s like [00:28:00] taking them down because this is so bad and she’s also street based, because that’s a big perspective that I feel is left out of Yeah. The industry when we talk about sex workers. Yeah. And why, maybe why she’s street based and what she experiences being street based that we don’t see in the mainstream media.
Um, yeah. And also that she can be a lesbian and, and see only male clients and what that conversation brings about. And then also how these different streams between the work that she does, the relationship that she has and the vision of herself. The reason why she- I wanted her to be a vampire is because kind of the lore of like the other is always the monster and what that means for how she navigate to the world as this pariah in a [00:29:00] sense.
So, yeah, I’m really excited about it. At first it was gonna be a short, but I’m like, I have so much more story to tell. It’s gonna be a feature. So this is, and I’m also looking
Daisy: It’s a big story.
Inten$ity: I’m also some, some activations on it too, where it’s kind of like more like I’m like dabbling into immersive work. Mm.
So kind of an immersive experience of the story where it’s like you can be on the blade, you can hear whispers have a confessional, a confessional booth, and also this altar, like the body is the altar. Mm-hmm. And kinda what that means, because I broke it down into three different parts where it’s the furnace, the altar, and then the holy body.
Daisy: Mm-hmm.
Inten$ity: Of
what that kind of like. Transformation looks like of losing yourself to find yourself again. So, lots of themes, very heavy, but Randy did and very fun at the same time. Ah, it’s,
Daisy: I can’t wait. I can’t wait. It’s gonna be [00:30:00] so good. What, what inspired you to write this story?
You know, I, what I was gonna say, well, I feel like it’s my- what do people say? My grando po like my Magno, my Magnum Opus. My culminative art that I’ve been manifesting over the past few years. Because, you know, as a woman who’s queer, who sees primarily male clients who’s had a street based experience, I.
It’s something that I feel like we don’t see in media and that we don’t see, we rarely see talked about even on like social community forms. Yeah. I feel like it’s always so glamorized and always so, um, curated on what we see and know.
And so I wanted to tell that story of what that experience looks like, but also what does it look like to feel like an [00:31:00] outsider in the world.
Mm-hmm.
Inten$ity: And also, what does it look like to navigate, because I, I don’t know, I haven’t seen a film or piece of media that showed a sex worker that was in a healthy, thriving relationship, so much so that someone would ethically give you their blood. I’ve never seen that. Never seen that.
So like showing that we do have healthy relationships and that this work is chosen and that, and if it’s not, why, why not? What are some of the things to be precautious of, of getting into this work?
Daisy: Mm-hmm.
Inten$ity: So I think I’m covering a lot of ground with what I want to say, but I trust my vision and I trust my ability to get the picture that I see in my head onto the page.
And I’m really [00:32:00] excited about it.
Daisy: I’m excited too. It sounds like it’s gonna be amazing.
Inten$ity: Yeah. I’m glad. You know, it’s like sometimes when you have stuff in your head and you’re like, I think this is really cool, and so you’re like, don’t tell anyone. Like now I’m just now getting to the part where I’m like, this is the thing I’ve been thinking about for five years and I’m writing it now.
To hear other people be like, we need this, I’m like. Thanks guys.
So that sounds good.
Yeah, no, this, this sounds like it’s gonna be amazing and sex worker vampires are kind of my thing.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Daisy: I love it. I love it. I can’t wait. So. Tell us about The Reading Room is a Strip Club What can people expect?
Inten$ity: Yes, so it is launching this summer, looking to start mid-June of just like a commu an online community space that will culminate in a in-person and virtual session where we kind of reflect on all of the readings, but [00:33:00] reading works from feminists, queer and erotic labor authors, and also pairing them with a movement prop.
So it’s that. It’s for, for sex workers, bisex workers, allies are welcome. They wanna kinda learn and explore, but of how- kind of bringing in more of an academic lens to what we, to what we do. Because I feel like people see more people, the outside world sees it more as frivolous or unnecessary. And I want us to bring in a more academic approach to the work, but then also what does that look like on our bodies?
We can read this text and I wanna, I’m, you know, definitely I’m putting together the reading list now ’cause it’s going to be separate for each month and [00:34:00] kind of themed per month. So curating it where it’s, what does the text look like to read it, obviously to discuss it, to make it accessible to those who may, it may not be accessible to, especially in our community. And then what does that look like on our bodies? And then what do we wanna say? Do we agree with it?
Do we not agree with it? And kind of becoming less of the, the research and becoming the researcher and adding our voices into the cannon, you know? So yeah, I see it being, I want it to be very, very accessible. So I see it living online and then letting the end culminating event, whether it’s virtual or in person, be kind of the come together moment where we can like.
Talk about how the readings affected us, or how this movement props affected us. And what was the highlights of this experience and what you learned and what you learned about [00:35:00] through the readings, and also learned about through yourself. So I’m really excited. I love being a nerd and like making things accessible to people, but also like talking about what we learned, like I mm-hmm.
If I could go to, I’m trying to go back to school actually to study this. Yeah. So I feel like it was my, my, like a fun way into it where it’s like, not doing it alone. And like yeah, I always see everything as community. Like I’m a huge community person, so I was like, I’m sure other people will have fun with this.
Let’s read and dance. Hell yeah.
Daisy: That’s amazing. And I think there, there needs to be more like community discussion spaces for sex workers. Like, especially now that we don’t have stripper web anymore. Like there needs to be more spaces where we can talk amongst ourselves. And it’s not like for the clients and projecting this image.
Yeah. That we’re putting on.
Inten$ity: And also like, even like on the academic like level, like we, you have people who are teaching about sex work, who from a very, a sterilized point of [00:36:00] view, like they’ve never been on the blade, been in the club, met a client, had a only f, none of this. So you’re like, our voices need to be there too.
And I know many people who are many Degreed who don’t even know that that is a pathway for them. Yeah. So opening up there as well, like let’s tell our stories, not just narrative based, but also research based and what does this mean and what does this look like? How are we affected by these things? And adding that to the archive.
Daisy: I love it.
I love it. That’s amazing. You, you are doing so much cool stuff.
Inten$ity: Thank you.
I feel like the past few years I didn’t know what I was working towards, but now I’m finally here and I’m like, ah, this makes sense. That makes sense. And like it feels so good to be whole in the sense that all of my- I finally like blended all of myself together into this like super [00:37:00] human box where I can show up in the room and be Khadija and be Inten$ity and be Hennessy and that’s okay.
Mm-hmm. I don’t have to hide any of my oneself in any other one rooms. I feel it’s a huge weight off of my shoulders to be me.
Daisy: That’s amazing. That’s so
beautiful. Thank you. So what do you hope that other queer and trans listeners, especially doing sex work might take away from your story?
Inten$ity: I would hope that they
feel empowered that. There’s a room for their, their whole selves at the table.
Daisy: Mm-hmm.
Inten$ity: And
if someone tells you that it’s not, make your own table and not just make it by yourself. Make it with the people around you, your trusted community, and be [00:38:00] proud of that. And there’s no need to make ourselves more palatable for the world at large because who we are, the work that we do, and our voices will always be additive.
It’ll never be subtractive and it is needed and it’s, and it’s enough.
Daisy: Yep.
Amen.
Inten$ity: My job.
Daisy: So how can our audience support your work or like be involved in your upcoming projects?
Inten$ity: Yes, so the umbrella house, which is, I’m getting into some play on words here. The umbrella of all of my creative projects is House of Eros LA. So you can follow at House of Eros, EROS. [00:39:00] H-O-U-S-E la on Instagram.
In the link in the bio, there’s a submission form with all of the cool things I’m working on, all of the cool things I’m collaborating on where you can kinda drop your email, drop your Instagram, and we can sit connected and know when all these fun things launched. For Stories From the Trade, I’m actively looking for, um, collaborators.
It is compensated because our work is our work and our story should never be free. So if you’re interested in that, you can drop a line there as well as if you’re interested in learning more or being a part of the reading room is a strip club. You can also drop your information on that form and any of the other cool things I’m working on.
I’ll also do intimacy coordination for TV and film.
Daisy: Awesome.
Inten$ity: So if you want to coordinate on that or looking for intimacy coordinator, all of that is on the forum. So at House of Arrows. LA on Instagram and if you wanna know more about me and my work, you can go [00:40:00] to www.workwithKhadija.com.
Daisy: Amazing. Thank you so much for talking with us today.
You were working on so much cool stuff and I just cannot wait to see what the future holds.
Inten$ity: Thank you so much. Like it feels good to speak about them ’cause I keep so much in my head so it feels good to verbalize it.. And thank you for having this space for me and others like me. It’s very important, and thank you for having me.
AMD: That was really good, Daisy.
Daisy: That was amazing.
AMD: That was really amazing.
Daisy: I’m so glad we got to talk to her.
AMD: Oh, me too. I especially like, I almost like I got like all choked up when she was talking about, um, the client who saw her after his mother passed and like how much care she gave him and that, and that’s what he really needed, you know, and Yep.
That’s something that I [00:41:00] talk to people about who don’t really understand sex work. And it was so interesting ’cause she had said also, so many people don’t know sex workers personally. And I was like, oh my God. That never even occurred to me because I know so many sex workers.
Yeah. And I was like, imagine living a life where you get your information about sex workers just from movies, tv, the internet, the media. Mm-hmm. Politicians. Mm-hmm. And how skewed.
Daisy: Yeah. A very one-sided view of what’s going on and yeah. Very shallow view, what’s going on.
AMD: Absolutely, very shallow. Because what she’d mentioned when she was, he was crying into her bosom.
That was very deep. And that’s something, um, yeah, that those are the types of stories. ’cause like, yes, of course there’s contact and there’s sexual intimacy happening, but like that’s not all it is. And, and [00:42:00] even that sexual intimacy that’s happening. It’s the sometimes because like people can’t get it elsewhere.
Yeah. And like sex did I Sexual intimacy is so important to the natural body. Anyway, go ahead. What were you,
Daisy: did I ever tell you about the, my very first, like in a regular club lap dance that I gave?
AMD: No, but please tell me now.
Daisy: So, so I worked at the Listy Lady first, which was like a peep show. Yeah. And we gave lap dances, but it was a little different.
Um, but the first time I worked in like a regular strip club and gave my very first like regular strip club, champagne room, lap dance. Um, it was this older gentleman, he was so sweet. And when we got to the champagne room, he just started crying. I. And I had no idea why. Hmm. And I was like, what did I do?
Like, I was new to the whole concept of giving lap dances, so I wasn’t really sure what I was supposed to be doing to begin with it.
AMD: Right, right, right.
Daisy: [00:43:00] And I was like, I, I don’t know how to handle this. We just met five minutes ago and, and he proceeds to tell me about how his wife had passed away from cancer.
Mm-hmm. And like he hasn’t touched a woman since he’s been with his wife. Mm. And then like he hasn’t like had any kind of intimate contact with a woman since he’s been with his wife. And so just me like holding his hand, walking him to the champagne room was like overly emotional for him. And we ended up just spending the time with him crying in my lap while I gave him a hug.
AMD: Oh my God. That’s so sweet. Why does stuff like that get me so worked up? That is so sweet.
Daisy: And at the end of it, like he see if he seemed like he had like a cathartic experience about it. ’cause he was like scared after losing his partner for, so like for decades.
AMD: Oh. Yeah, [00:44:00] that is so sweet and touching, you know, but also like, not funny, but kind of funny.
It’s your first dance.
Oh my God, that is so sweet. And that’s what I’m talking about. And that was like the point that she was making as well. You know, it’s like, it’s, there’s so much, um, dimensions, there’s, it’s so dimensional the work that we do in so many ways. And I’m like just convinced that we’re some of the most compassionate, thoughtful workers and people on the planet. I mean, ’cause you, you have to be compassionate too because like, you know, when you’re working in the club specifically and there’s like all different kinds of people coming in and out all night and you, you never know what type of person you’re gonna get down on the couch with until you’re there.
Yeah. And then you have to like, figure out how to make this person happy. You know, and it’s just so, yeah. It’s so complex.
Daisy: Yeah. [00:45:00] Yeah. And you have to be able to not only read people, but like be there for them in a way that is, it’s hard to explain because it’s different for every single person you encounter.
AMD: Yeah. Absolutely. Well, that was like I, that was just such a, an amazing interview. You two really clicked. I loved it. So, yeah.
Yeah.
Daisy: I’m so excited to see some of her projects come together, like
AMD: especially Vampire one. Especially the vampire one. I can’t wait. Love vampires.
Daisy: It’s gonna be so good.
AMD: Yes, yes. Oh, goodness gracious. Well, that was awesome. Yes. Great job today..
Daisy: That was today’s episode of YAS P odcast. And I am Daisy Ducati. Thank you so much for joining us. And don’t forget to like, subscribe, all those things.
AMD: Yasss.