YAS Podcast: Fox Sinclair Episode #7 Transcript
Since she was seven years old, Fox Sinclair wanted to be a pole dancer. Little did she know she was predicting her future. Fox is not only a pole dancer, but a stripper, a contemporary dancer, a musician, a song writer, a script writer, an actor and a photographer. She wants to do all the things, and why shouldn’t she? It’s possible to have layers, to have different dimensions of yourself. Fox and AM discuss the layers and philosophize on different subjects.
*This transcript was auto-generated and may contain minor errors.* Begin transcript.
AMD: Hey everyone, welcome back to Yes, a Stripper podcast. I’m your host, AM Davies, and today our guest is Fox Sinclair. Before we get to Fox, though, and all of her glamour and glory over there, I want to talk to you about something that’s on the front of my mind a lot of times as a stripper and even as like a regular person, right?
So my name is AM and so I’m going- So many people think that that’s some sort of a fake name. Something that happens a lot in the stripper world, and especially when you have a unique name like mine, is the first thing people ask you is, what’s your real name? Or what do your parents call you? And I find this to be one of the most offensive things that you can say to a person when they introduce you to their name.
As a stripper, I call myself AM. And the first question was, what’s your real name? And I absolutely abhorred this question. I would use a fake real name, which is Nikki. That’s my, or Nicole actually is my fake real name. Um, because, and then I would just end the conversation there and then they would think that my real name was Nicole and then they would be happy because they felt special.
Um, and then even as a regular person, when I’m walking around and I meet people and I say that my name is AM, like the comments that I get and literally people have said to me, that’s not your real name. Who fucking cares what my real name is? If I’m going to give you my name, that’s the name I want you to call me.
And that’s the end of it. And anything else behind that is none of anybody else’s business. And so that’s just a little tip from me to you. When you hear like a unique, different type of name, just take that at face value. That’s the name that people want you to call them. So just call them what they’re telling you they want to be called.
And that brings us to our next guest, who’s Fox Sinclair. And Fox, what is the response that people give you when you say, “hi, I’m Fox?” What’s the number one most typical response you get?
FS: Well, if it’s somebody who wants to like challenge that, you know, most people are like, Hey Fox, nice to meet you. But in the case that, um, They’re not with that name. They’re like, oh, what’s your real name? It’s a real kind of like, pouty thing to me. Like, oh, what’s your real name? And I’m like, why are you talking to me like that? As if I’m someone that you know that you can be mad at. That’s the thing that is like weird is when you’re a stranger and already we’re like getting in a fight. You know, they’re just like, oh, really? I’m like, yeah, really. And like you said, it’s like, well, that’s, that’s, You know, okay, well, like, what, do you want to know, like, personal information about my history and my background? I mean, it just kind of matters the way that people approach it. But I do meet a lot of wolves. I love it when I go, yeah, they’re like, your name’s Fox? And I’m like, yeah. My name is Fox. They go, ugh, okay, well, I’m Wolf. And I’m like, oh my god, it’s so funny, I’ve met like so many wolves in my life. It’s like, y’all should really start a club.
AMD: I get PM. Oh, my name is PM. And then I go, and my response is, wow, I’ve met So many of you and then they feel stupid because they’re like, Oh, I’m not original. It’s like, you’re not.
FS: It’s so funny that they forget that like we do this and have this conversation all the time. So like your witty kind of go out flirtation just like, it doesn’t work, we’ve seen it so much.
AMD: So many times. Yeah. If I had a dime, you know.
FS: However, one time I did actually meet someone named Wolf at it at another bar Just outside and they’re like, oh, that’s crazy. I’m Wolf and I was like, yeah, okay being such a bitch about it and I was just like, okay, dude, like I get it. It’s funny. I mean so many of you and he’s like, no really and I like look at his Instagram and it’s like wolf Whatever.I was like, oh shit.
AMD: It reminds me of the time I was that one of my favorite bars in the whole world Lucky 13 Saloon in Brooklyn, New York And there was this He’s the lead singer of this really super crazy heavy metal band and he had really long black hair and he was tall and he had a really deep voice like this and then he really wanted to talk to me and introduce and I, you know, he says, you know, what’s your name? And I said, I, I’m AM and I said, I go, what’s your name? And he leans down and puts his mouth really close to my ear and he goes, The Count. And I was like, nice to meet you, The Count.
FS: I love that.
AMD: But I was like, I was confronted with a situation where I’m like, come on, man, The Count. And of course, I just accepted the name that he wanted to be called. So his name was The Count. I met him.
FS: But that is an interesting thing. Like the whole kind of naming and at what point you feel the, you know, agency to be able to challenge someone on what they’re presenting with you. You know, if someone was maybe, I don’t know, in more of a situation of like a drag, you know, in drag or, or trans- transitioning, right. And you know, gender fluid or- I don’t know, or, or more of a performance in the sense that like, you know, it’s a bigger stage, bigger venue, you know, why do people feel the need? You know, because I’m, I’m a cute gal. And I feel like it’s kind of a way to, to be like, no, let’s see. Let’s see the cute, sweet, childish version of you. I don’t know. I mean, yeah. Um, it’s like, why, what is that in them that makes them feel that they would question someone that they meet at a club versus somebody who’s offering them a name in any other circumstance?
AMD: Yeah, I don’t know. I think I, the, so I have a lot of time to think about this. I’ve been thinking about this for years. I think that people just feel special knowing, like, the true version of you. Like the, the real true version, as if your real name is a reflection the true version of who you are?
FS: I get that.
AMD: But I, I don’t think, like, my full name Annemarie, which I love and a lot of people call me, I don’t feel like my real name is actually a true reflection of who I am. Like, if you hear, if you have my full name Annemarie, you still don’t know jack shit about me, bro. You’re not getting any big secret, or like, unlocking any, you know.
FS: That’s true.
AMD: Yeah. So I don’t, I, I disagree with. Um, I think that if someone gives you a name, you just fucking accept that name. So, and that is, I love your name, Fox. I love you. You’re amazing. Fox is one of my dearest, dearest, best of all time, amazing friends. And Fox, you are on, Yes, a Stripper Podcast. So that means you’re either a stripper or you’re a stripper ally. So, and I already know. Can’t you tell?
FS: I’m wearing my sparkle top.
AMD: She is definitely a stripper. Fox, tell us the first time you realized you wanted to be a pole dancer. Can you tell that story?
FS: Yes, I would love to, Anne Marie. I grew up in Louisiana. I grew up in Baton Rouge and we would go to New Orleans like, you know, with my, I would go with my mom, you know, I went for my 13th birthday with my gal pals and my cousin. And, um, you know, when you’re walking down Bourbon street, it was, It’s very much like there were, I just remember seeing silhouettes of, of women spinning around on a pole. And I, it can’t, you know, I’ve created that recollection and maybe it was an actual woman or just like a image of it. But um, then on the trolleys, going up and downtown, it was so much fun to hold on to the pole and just like let it swing you around. And I have this very distinct memory. I was with my mom and I swung around on the pole on the trolley and I go, Mom, I want to be a pole dancer when I grow up. And I was like, I think I, I don’t know, maybe I was 10 years old. And the whole trolley just kind of gives me a big whoomp, looks over, and like, you know, I didn’t, um, I didn’t know anything was bad. Quote unquote. And um, and so I went to, I went to college for dance. I grew up dancing. I did contemporary, modern, hip hop, ballet, and so my, um, At college it was a very like contemporary performance art kind of situation And then I’d always loved the grittiness of being a stripper But I think growing up in New Orleans like seeing that scene, it just wasn’t really super healthy A lot of the women weren’t taking care of themselves. And I mean, I’m guilty of being a customer that goes up in the front and would give my friend a lap dance because I was there for myself and not to pay attention to them.
AMD: Oh, wait, so you would go into the club with friends and you would give your friend a lap dance in the club where the strippers were working?
FS: Yeah, I was a terrible strip club customer. Okay, got it. Like, I, if I, if, You know, 19 year old Fox came into my club, this Fox would have a lot to say. Yeah. I’d be like, honey, you don’t work here.
AMD: Did you experience, like, did any of the dancers say anything to you or come up to you?
FS: No. They were so used to it. They’re so used to it.
AMD: Well, I guess New Orleans is a bit different, right? It’s like a little bit more like more goes, like anything goes because of the the vibe overall in the city?
FS: Yeah, I mean it’s Bourbon Street. It’s like a bunch of drunk, fratty people just walking down with the goal of getting super pissed and, meaning drunk.
AMD: Drunk, yeah.
FS: And um, yeah, just kind of like strolling in and out very unaware. I mean, you know, we’re fortunate. So I will, I will. Work at Jumbos and have only ever worked at Jumbos as a dancer, because to continue with that is, you know, I took a class from a, from Duchess in New Orleans. And I just loved it so much, but I was like, I wish I could, you know, kind of express myself in this way, but I just don’t really wanna be in the culture of feeling demeaned.
AMD: Interesting.
FS: In the way that I had seen that in, you know, growing up. You know, I guess as a young adult in New Orleans and just. I didn’t see the side of the coin that could be super empowering until I walked into Jumbo’s Clown Room. Okay. And I just had an overwhelming sense of the power of the women in there. And immediately it was like, yep, I’m gonna work here. Okay. And so I kind of just snuck my way over to being like a customer, just figuring out You know, starting to talk to the girls and then-
AMD: So it’s interesting that you, you talk about that because, you know, I worked at a ton of different clubs besides just Jumbo’s clown room and I, I’ve seen women being empowered and, and, and learning from them and from their grace and their strength, um, even in the nude clubs and in the topless clubs in Vegas. And so have you found that as you, like, sort of matured? You have seen that in other types of places?
FS: 100%. I mean, especially now that I am. in the community and, you know, it, it certainly took me like a while to get out of the ignorance. I, I just didn’t know what this community was because as strippers, you know, it’s very, especially growing up in the South, it’s very Christian, it’s very conservative, like, we just kind of don’t talk about sex. We don’t talk about, you know, there, it was, a woman, if she was a stripper, it was just like, Oh, God, like, we just didn’t even have that conversation.
AMD: Like, she’s evil or bad or scary.
FS: For sure. I mean, there was just a lot of, like, I grew up super Christian and, you know, I just remember-
AMD: Yeah, you’ve told me stories where you’re so Christian that you would often be the first one to stand up in the pews with your arms up, waving back and forth, with your eyes closed, feeling the rays of God shine down on you.
FS: Totally. Totally. I mean, I still feel that, but it’s like, I think it’s, um
AMD: Now it’s more of a power pose.
FS: Yeah, it’s a power pose. Yeah. And, you know, me, like, speaking in tongues is more just me being so excited that I shake a lot.
AMD: Yeah, yeah. You have a lot of energy.
FS: But it’s all the, it’s all the same thing. I mean, it’s all an element of just feeling connected to something that’s, um, much bigger than yourself and feeling like I, I can change the world. And I think You know, I I love the fact that I was super Christian, even though there was a period where I’m like, that’s really weird, because like, if you knew me now
AMD: Yeah. For those of you who can’t see, Fox’s legs are up in the air, and she’s shaking them from side to side, and they’re also spread nice and wide as well.
FS: But I have on business pants.
AMD: So she has on business pants, so it’s not as bad.
FS: Party on the top, business on the bottom. Exactly.
AMD: Oh, geez.
FS: So much.
AMD: I know. So, you’re, so, something I want to make sure everyone understands is you are a musician. To me, you’re not just any musician because you write your own music, you produce your own music, you literally write the sounds of your own music, you direct and produce your own music videos. Produce your own shows like you are another one woman show. We just had one last week. So you are another one, one woman show. So can you just give us a little background and insight on what that life is like for you?
FS: Absolutely. Um, yeah. So I have been. Um, Singing, making music, shit, man, I just need to express myself in all the ways possible and I, you know, I’m, I’m moody and I need to talk about it and I think music has always been a way for me to, like, you know, release the things that I want to say in the same way that dancing is a way to, um, release some energy. It’s all just a release of, of feelings and tension and exploring new ways to feel. So I learned how to produce, um, about seven years ago when I moved to L.A., and I was producing because I didn’t want to necessarily work with anybody else. I just wanted to be able to do everything by myself because at that time my communication skills weren’t really that great and I felt kind of sheepish in a way of actually asking for what I want, which I’ve certainly gotten better at.
AMD: And would you say that stripping helped you get better at that?
FS: A bajillion percent.
AMD: Okay, I just wanted to confirm. Yeah. All right, keep going.
FS: Yeah, on that subject. Okay. I mean, I think that there’s a lot of of people that kind of play this, like, how dare you say this to me, or how dare you ask me this, or assume this, or whatever. And it’s like, if every, if women just learned how to say no better, or learned how to stand up for themselves in a way that’s not offended, but necessarily, like, just educating. You know, and I think that’s what I learned through being at the clubs, is that, like, you know, you can get all pissy at people, but really, In the same way that when I was 19 going in the club giving my friend a lap dance as a customer, which is dumb, that was me, uneducated. You know, and I didn’t figure that out until someone educated me, which happened when I started working at the clubs. But I kind of find that now, a lot of the people that come in, you know, yeah, they do a bunch of dumb shit, but they just don’t know. And so it’s our job to tell them straight, in a straightforward manner and, you know, having kind of learned that skill definitely trickles out to the rest of my life where I can just say, hey, these are, these are my boundaries. This is what I want. These are my goals. Can we somehow figure out how to make this work?
AMD: And everyone’s boundary is different. Mm-Hmm. and everyone’s ideals are different. And so you may be educated by one person and then you might meet another person. That’s true. And it might be a different story or a different scenario with them. And so yeah, I feel you on that. Education is a big one for men and for women and for all the genders in between. Like we all are just learning on a constant basis. And I’ve definitely in the last year, I just don’t get mad at people anymore. Even when they’re rolling their eyes at me and raising their voice at me, I’m still not getting mad because I can see, okay, that’s something going on in their own head. And so I wish that I had had these skills when I was still in the strip club and I was like random fucked up shit was happening and I could have just been a little softer and more kind and educate more. Which I think I did in my last couple of years, but there were triggers. There were things where I would just lose my shit. Yeah. Like when I turned into a tornado in the dressing room. Were you there for that?
FS: I don’t think so.
AMD: Girl. Literally, I turned into a tornado.
FS: What, like you were spinning around really fast?
AMD: I’m, yeah, it looked like, yeah, it looked like I was. Yeah, I was like ripping things.
FS: Because of customers?
AMD: No, because of um, you know the
FS: Because of an altercation with another dancer?
AMD: No, no, it was, you know, when they were like yelling at us for ones. And he was uhhuh, you know, Herman was in my space and oh, there was other factors happening and I just needed a minute. And he wouldn’t shut the door. And his fat fingers were in the door of the crack and I was like, shut the fucking door. Shut the fucking door. And he wouldn’t shut the door. And so I literally started ripping all the stuff off of the, um, clothes line. Like where all the jackets were hanging. I just started ripping them. And so all the clothes just started swirling and twirling around the room.
FS: That’s so fun.
AMD: And Delilah was like, you look like you turned into a tornado.
FS: Oh.
AMD: Yeah.
FS: Did it help the situation?
AMD: No, of course not. I mean I was a total wreck. Okay. But if I had been coming from this place like you were talking about, just like, cool your chats. Mm hmm. Come to a softer place. Mm hmm. I wouldn’t have had to turn into a tornado.
FS: But I will say, that was kind of like the fun part for me, is like becoming like this sassy, like, I don’t know. Excuse me, kind of person. I mean now, I’ve been there, you know, I’ve been there for seven, maybe eight years and now I kind of like being the security guard where if I see someone at the, you know, rail with their phone, I’m like, excuse me, honey, I know that, um, you probably have some really important It’s important business matters to handle but you just can’t have your phone at the stage. They’re like, and they’re usually like, Oh, I’m so sorry or something. I, I enjoy being this like kind of direct, straight talk.
AMD: Like authoritative.
FS: Yeah. Okay. I’m just like, Hey babe, you actually can’t have your phone here. And if she’s like, Oh, I’m just texting my mom. I’m like, that’s great. But you can text your mom outside or, you know, away from the stage, but there’s a beautiful, delicious, fine piece of ace on stage right now and you need to pay attention, you little gal. And like, can be more fun about it. Whereas it used to be fun to be like —. Like, play into the culture of being a bitch. Because I never Got to do that cuz you know sweet little baby Christian girl never got to really like have a voice.
AMD: Interesting. That’s really interesting that you never got to flex that muscle and really stick up for yourself because that’s not what good Christian girls do to the point where you’re so hungry for it that you like start to become an almost addicted to that?
FS: Totally.
AMD: Wow. See I didn’t grow up in a religious household. I had a lot of freedom So I didn’t feel a lot of hunger to do much of anything. All my partying and sex was like moderate levels.
FS: Yeah. Yeah. I mean it, not even, you know, I, I, um, I flexed that party sex muscle a little bit earlier than my stripper muscle of yelling at people. Okay. Um, but I guess just, you know, You know, being a Southern belle has that kind of just like, let’s not offend anybody. You know, if someone says something that you don’t like, you just kind of stay quiet about it and like, that’s fine. Whereas, you know, now even the other day I was looking at, you know, we’re shopping for a house and, and, and the landlord. Because, um, so, you know, there’s like seven people who’d be moving in. And he’s like, so, you know, men, women, or girls, boys, and I’m like, it’s a house full of women. He goes, oh, good luck. And I got so, I know, I got so, I had that same face. And my sister was there and she was kind of laughing about how, like, annoyed I was at that. I was just like, Um, good luck. I was like why you want me to like live with some stinky smelly boy that doesn’t know how to put a frickin roll of toilet paper on the little hook. Yeah, it was a wet towel on the bed and friggin farts in the goddamn living room
AMD: And leaves these are hairs all over the bathroom.
FS: Yeah Gross anyways, but I’m also I was just like, excuse me actually, we’re all very wonderful women and we love each other and we’re great communicators and we’re hot and you’re fucking assholes. I hate you! I love him. We got the house is great. So, um, but the point of that is, is that even now outside of the clubs, I’m, I’m a lot more quick to be like, Oh, what did you mean by that? Because I’m on this like educating kick.
AMD: Yes.
FS: I’m on this deal of like, you know, It doesn’t serve anybody for me to just be like, Okay, you’re an idiot. Bye. Done with you. Like, I’m so confident and stable enough now in myself as a grown ass woman to be like, hey, man- to actually get into a conversation, as opposed to being like, Oh, you say something, and I’m gonna look bad. Oh, you say something, and I’m gonna look bad, This is that Southern Belle thing, I’m gonna look bad by, like, confronting that thought of yours, there’s just no confrontation. And I learned how to have confrontation and that it’s not a terrible thing.
AMD: It’s not terrible.
FS: It’s great.
AMD: Yeah. My, my stepmom, we were, I was talking to this neighbor friend, um, with my stepmom one day and You know, she introduced me and, and my stepmom doesn’t discriminate. It’s like, we are all her children and that’s how she addresses us. And so she’s talking about me and my brother and sister and her, her born daughter, and so she says to the guy, this is one of my four kids, like dah, dah, dah. And he’s like, wow, fertile. really fertile family. And I go, I was just, I know. And I go, that’s an odd thing to say. I said that out loud. And then I just kind of brushed it off, you know, and he was kind of like shuffled his feet a little bit, you know, because they think he realized like, fuck, are you doing calling her fertile? That’s just so creepy and gross. Yeah. Like it’s just four kids. It’s not that much.
AMD: Fertile.
FS: Fertile family.
AMD: What? Like don’t talk about my mom’s reproductive system. Yeah, I know. It’s gross.
FS: But it’s good that you say something because then he-
AMD: But it wasn’t snarky.
FS: Right.
AMD: Like that’s an odd thing to say.
FS: Right. It’s like I think a lot of those things are like to like we, you know, as dancers, we’re You Um, um, and like, in social situations a lot. Like, we have a lot of practice talking to a lot of different kinds of people. Yes. And most people don’t have that. So you have to kind of give them a little bit of space for, like, they probably work at an office, go out once a week, and like, are talking to the same type of person all the time. We talk to so many types of people that we can kind of gauge the version of conversation, the, Dial of humor, you know, like that’s a skill that we have Absolutely. That not a lot of other people have. So, yeah. I think even just being open-minded to that. Right. You know, you can, you can help someone out and, and go easy on ’em because
AMD: Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Go easy. God, I So you’re triggering all stories. Sure.
FS: Yeah. I know. We could just gab our little faces off. How long is it an hour?
AMD: We can do pretty much anything we want.
FS: Can we do a three hour? Oh shoot. Okay, I love that.
AMD: Um, but yeah, I was actually talking to someone the other day about how often, like how it’s really hard to win a word battle with a stripper. Like it’s really hard to outwit us because we say spend so much time talking to people, and like you said, so many different people. And I think that’s a skill set that goes, that flies under the radar with like a civilian when it comes to strippers, not realizing like that we’re just, we’re going to be quicker than you, quicker on the draw. And it also plays into the misconception that strippers are dumb. I swear, they’re some of the most intelligent people I’ve ever known in my life.
FS: Insane! Every woman I work with is so on it. It’s just so on it. Strippers are the best. Yeah.
AMD: I agree.
FS: I Love strippers.
AMD: Me too! So, one of the things that, so when I first came to Jumbo’s Clown Room, because I came from the nude strip clubs, right? And I first came to Jumbo’s Clown Room and the dancers there would call themselves strippers and I would scoff at them.
FS: At jumbos.
AMD: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And this was like 11 and a half, 12 years ago. And I would, I would scoff because, you know. I was immature and working on some things and I would be like you’re not real stripper Is you have no idea what being a real stripper is like like wait until you’re grinding on a hard dick with your vag out and like getting your fucking tits grabbed without you wanting like that’s like, you know what I mean? That’s real stripper Like having a talk educate men on how and where and when they can touch you and like making- hustling some real money Like that’s real stripper work. You girls here aren’t sure. But now I’m like, yeah, it’s just on the spectrum of stripping.
FS: Right.
AMD: It took me a few years to get there.
FS: I think about this a lot, actually, because, you know, the term stripper, even just the word itself is like a very strong word. And, You know a lot of the times when it’s just some people love to be like Oh, you’re not a stripper like in a way that it seems like they’re doing that so that I won’t feel like dirty
AMD: Right, you know that spare you
FS: To spare me from being a stripper But then there’s the other side, like you said, that like, I don’t feel worthy of even calling myself a stripper because no, like I said, I’ve only been at Jumbo’s. I’ve never danced nude other than this one little TV show I did where I got my titties all out. Um, I mean, I would love to dance with my titties out because I have great tots. But, anyways, I diverse. Um, the Yeah, I didn’t like feel like I was worthy of that term, but then other people are kind of like, Oh, like you don’t want to have that term. I, I just feel like it’s all semantics and, but that says something about, you know, stripping in general and that it’s just like here we’re all just gonna throw you in this basket that we don’t want to talk about. You know, like you dance on a pole.
AMD: You dance on a pole in heels in front of people. Stripper. Dirty. Yeah.
FS: Just like, the image of that in people’s minds without even thinking about is so, it’s so subconsciously ingrained in so many people. You know, I, because I, you know, I’m a musician and so there’s a lot of these things where I’m like, I wanna pole dance to this thing and, you know. Love pole dancing, great at it, it’s fun. Um, it’s not the center of myself as an artist in general, but it is something I spend a lot of time doing, and helps me afford creating the art that I want to for my music. And, um, other like art projects that I have. And, you know, the moment that a pole, like, you see a pole, it sometimes just, like, overtakes whatever else you’re trying to talk about or whatever the rest of the project is, you know?
AMD: Yeah, I’ve been trying to figure that one out for years, like, why are people so scared stuck on what a pole means. It’s just an apparatus and is used so differently by so many people. But at the same time, strippers are the ones that majoritively have been on the pole. And so maybe it’s just because of years and years of conditioning, of seeing really only strippers on the poll and then years and years of conditioning that strippers and sex workers are bad and have no moral compass and are dirty and are drug addicts. And then they’re getting that message from the media, from magazines, newspapers, news, movies. Music videos, anything that depicts the story of strippers is like, has all these negative connotations in it. Meanwhile, the majority of strippers that I spend with are like, enlightening and uplifting and powerful and beautiful and intelligent. And, and yeah, we also like to party. And not everyone though. Like I know tons of sober strippers. You know, um,
FS: It’s just, it’s just this.
AMD: It’s a sex thing. That’s really, at the end of the day, what it is, because people, for some reason, can’t get the fuck over that we have sex and that that’s even why we’re here.
FS: I know.
AMD: We only exist because of sex. And sex is so great. Mm hmm. What’s the fucking problem? Yeah.
FS: I don’t know. I wonder if there’s like this kind of like trigger of like your sex drive that there’s like you’re watching a cute little movie and then all of a sudden you see a butt and then it’s like, yeah, like overload on my sexual side. It’s like the same thing about seeing a stripper. It’s like, Oh, she’s a nice girl. And like, boom, sex, sex, sex. Maybe.
AMD: Yeah, but what I think that there’s so much shame around sex and that we’ve not been properly educated. Like, what were your sex education classes like in school? What did you learn in sex ed?
FS: I learned, don’t do it until you’re married. And then I asked my mom when I was like 16, I said, mom, cause I had a really hot boyfriend and I was, you know, getting a little horny off of him. And I said, mom, did you have sex before you were married? And she started crying.
AMD: I’m sorry, mom, that I’m laughing.
FS: She started crying.
AMD: Why? What happened? Why did she cry?
FS: And she’s, she’s crying. She gets, you know, I, I made mistakes. And then goes off on this whole tangent about how her, like, high school sweetheart fucked her over because her family wasn’t good enough. And I was just like, oh my god. Great talk, mom. Is this the birds or the bees or what? But, um, yeah. I, I was so so, sexually unaware, and then, I, I always think about this, I was, I was a freshman in high school and kind of having a cute little fling with this senior, and we won the football state championship, and I went and I jumped on him and I straddled him. After the game. You know, like a, like a little. I straddled him. And I’m like, YAY. Yeah, you know, like we won and I remember just like I didn’t let him go. I was like a little monkey and I came up and my mom’s just like tapping me on the shoulder kind of looking at me like, yeah, you know, and I was like, and I was just that, you know, I look back at things like that where. I remember Pour Some Sugar On Me was happening, and I’m like on the ground in my frickin prom dress, like, fuckin twerkin like, rubbin my titties, and like, pourin my frickin sparkling water on my head. And, uh, I was super sexual always, and, and not even sexual, sensual. Okay. Okay, because there’s a difference. I’m not always trying to bone everybody, but I am trying to like, touch myself and do some body rolls in the mirror. And wink at that hottie across the bar, you know what I’m saying? Right, right, right. But that doesn’t mean that I’m trying to boink everybody in town. Um, and that’s kind of how I’ve always been, but it’s always been read as like super intimidating or offensive, and, and when I was younger, I didn’t even know that those were the messages that I was giving. Cause nobody told me.
AMD: Well, not only that, nobody’s been taught to receive the messages that you’re sending. It’s not that you’re sending the wrong message. It’s that they’re seeing one thing and interpreting it in the only way they’ve ever been taught. And that’s why I’m asking what your sex education was like, because I know mine was like, how to insert a tampon where my ovaries are and how to wear a pad. And it wasn’t, I wasn’t taught about consent, how to verbalize consent, what to do if someone’s violated my consensual terms. Um, who to talk to, what to talk about, what types of questions to ask, how, what to do when a boy is pressuring me, any of those things, I was never taught, any of those things, and for sure, boys aren’t taught, um, when a woman, when a girl says no, it means no, and you stop asking, you stop trying, um, don’t grab women without or anyone without asking like, they’re not taught those things or not every, if a woman is wearing a short skirt, she is not sending you the message. Come and fuck me and do whatever you want. She’s just wearing a short skirt, right? So you weren’t sending the wrong message.
FS: Yeah, of course not. I, I didn’t know. I was just being myself and then looking back on it. I’m like, damn girl, you’re a little hot hoochie mama.
AMD: You’re just having a good time.
FS: I was just having a great time.
AMD: You know? Yeah. What about these dudes that walk around with their shirt off and, and walk around flexing.
FS: You love that. Every time we go on a hike and-
AMD: Every time someone, like, is walking by with the emoji like this with the eyes. I think I’ve said this before on one of my shows, the, the flat eyed emoji with the flat mouth. Mmm. I guess.
FS: She’s like, why does he get to take his shirt off? Why can’t he have his nipples out? Can’t I just take my shirt off and walk around? They’re just tits. They’re just like, tits, they’re just like fat sockets on my chest. Like, why does he have to I don’t? I’m like, you know what? I don’t know.
AMD: It’s great. She gets, she gets slightly annoyed. It’s fine. I think I actually, the longer it goes on and the older I get, the more offended I’m getting and I really need to work on it. I see men’s nipples out in the sun in the broad daylight and I’m just like, I need to wash my eyes now.b I feel so offended by your –
FS: because you’re jealous.
AMD: Maybe, maybe it’s because I’m jealous, but maybe it’s also like It feels a little rapey, like you don’t have your clothes on, like you’re coming at me without your clothes on.
FS: Are they coming at you?
AMD: No, no. Or are they just walking by? They’re just doing their own thing.
FS: I think they’re just walking their dog, actually, and it’s sunny outside.
AMD: Okay, maybe because this one time a guy without a shirt on cat called me, and I was like, and I told him, literally, put a shirt on. Put some clothes on. Yeah, so maybe, so now it’s like, they all are like, they’re like,
FS: You should have just taken your shirt off and then started catcalling him.
AMD: Oh yeah, that totally would have worked out. He would have jumped over that fucking balcony.
FS: Just like, oh yeah?
AMD: I think it was cold outside. Maybe not. I don’t know. He didn’t have his shirt on, so maybe it wasn’t cold. I don’t know. But I’m not doing that. But yeah, um, my point is, is like, think of all the times we’ve been to like parties as young people and there’s like the dude who’s like boisterous and loud and shirt off and running around and like, that’s okay. But if you as a female is like, look at me, yeah, it’s like, Oh, she’s a slut.
FS: Sure. But, um, I’m not really surrounded by people who would say, oh, she’s a slut because, you know, um, just for all you listeners out there, I am the person that’s taking my shirt off at the party and running around and dancing and none of my friends because I surround myself with strippers and stripper allies would never
AMD: Well, I’m talking more in like the general sense. In the general sense, yes. Yeah, yeah, and like what sort of happens and how we get labeled because as a young person, I was also very sexual amongst all my friends. Like I lap danced nude for Like eight of my guy and girlfriends when I was 17 in a living room, very well lit living room before I even knew that you’re supposed to shave your ass crack and got extremely nude. And I was like, that was great. It was like I was living, But, anybody outside that group that kind of heard about that and caught wind of it, it was like, I know, oh, Annemarie is like, I know, but Annemarie’s next level kid is so rough.
FS: Yeah, yeah. It’s just so rough. Because now you still, you don’t give a shit about what other people’s approval or opinions of you are. I mean, that’s the thing, but when you’re that age, yeah. It’s like, so how can we educate? The freaking young teens of the world.
AMD: It definitely starts with the youth. The youth need to be, I told Tami this once, Tami, my best friend in the whole world, who’s listening to every single one of these episodes, I was like, it starts with the kids, we need to educate the kids. She’s like, nah, fuck that, fuck kids. I’m like, no, like, we have to teach the children, they’re the next generation. And I think that with millennials, and whatever generation is after them, I think that, they are a lot more woke. When I tell people now I’m a sex worker and a stripper, and they’re a much younger generation, they’re like, oh my god, goddess, what can I do to support you and help you?
FS: Yeah, that’s true.
AMD: And I love the younger generation. Have you noticed a shift at all in the, in the younger generation of how they speak to you or view you? Oh, that’s right. I forgot. You dated a 20 year old recently.
FS: I was like, are you jabbing me at the fact that my ex boyfriend is like 8 years older than me?
AMD: No, I totally forgot.
FS: You mean like, did I talk about his
AMD: No, I forgot. Well, I mean, yeah, I could consult with my But you know what’s actually interesting is that you have actually encountered a younger generation that’s not as woke. So maybe I’m generalizing. Yeah. Yeah.
FS: Because, yeah, that was, uh, that was not a woke experience. I mean, that was a, uh, an idea, uh, like, I mean, I think this is what happens in general. Whatever age is, they love, uh The idea, I mean, in terms of dating, you know, they love the idea of the fact that you’re some just like wild. You know, or whatever. You know? Whatever it is. A wild flower. And then, and then that becomes scary. Yeah. Um, but I think just the, you know, the terms are changing, like terms of, of dating and what that means. I mean, we’re still going off of this. Basis of like what a relationship in love is off of how movies were made in the fifties and sixties and how our parents lived And there’s always this kind of like woohoo, but now we’re kind of like breaking that wall down I mean, it’s still culturally being broken down. That’s a huge conversation to have. And I could talk about all of these things.
AMD: So one of the things I really wanted to make sure we talk about is your Stripper culture and how it enters into your music art. Okay. And something that really stood out recently was when you were at a performance and you put the microphone down and you started doing slutty stripper work. On stage.
FS: Totally.
AMD: And it was everyone’s favorite part of your performance.
FS: 100%. Okay. So, I, yeah, I love. The fact that I have a history of, you know, of being a stripper. Um, because I just, you know, so many, so I make urban pop music. It’s kind of like somewhat hip hop, somewhat pop.
AMD: Can you give us a little riff of a song right now?
FS: Didn’t sign up for no rescue And didn’t you come to my venue? I’m, sorry that you’ve been mistaken and thinking that I would always be agreeable. Hey Razor sharp my mouth like a southern lady. You can put me in a corner like no one’s baby I’ve been modest too long. So now i’m thinking about me when I’m fucking you. About to start a Wave. Told me to behave. Say it. To my. Face. Tell me calm down. Well, I’m sick of being soft. So that is, um, that’s soft, but yeah, I had a show at the Moroccan and I wore this cute little leopard print dress and I put blue panties on underneath and when my favorite musical moment came. I was twerking and doing some cool leg work, and yes, everybody loved it, and I feel that there are so many people that use dancers as the accessory. You know, rappers, every artist loves a freaking stripper in their music video. And, um, I am just so stoked to be the video hoe for myself. Like, there is nothing that gives me any greater joy than like, not using someone else to be like, look at this object of hotness that’s next to me while I can talk about it. But I’m like, no, I’m actually talking about myself. Being that object, or that hot, you know, being the point, being that, like, bridging that gap. And all my songs are coming from a place of like, being that object. Like being that sassy woman that is the spotlight of attention because the stripper You know is the accessory to the artist in a lot of circumstances, I know but like the stripper is the freaking artist. I mean it you know in my case that’s what I I love about the the the art that I’m trying to put out as a musician, but you know, it’s not just like I’m a musician It’s like I’m I’m Fox and I make this music that accompanies my lifestyle that accompanies me as a performer and those things kind of go hand in hand, right? Yeah, but I will say you know to go back on to the conversation of like I’ve definitely had a lot of marketing branding meetings about how the pole is distracting from
AMD: Oh really like other people have said-
FS: Yeah, people in, in, you know, in, in pitching certain songs, they’re just like, wait, I don’t get it. Is she a musician? Or is she a dancer?
AMD: Why can’t you be both?
FS: As you know, it’s really hard for people to grasp the concept that you can be multiple things. Right.
AMD: Branding. Well, you’re not the only musician that’s also a dancer.
FS: For sure. But when, but that goes back to that conversation, the moment that you put a pole in the, in the frame. It just, it reads as a certain context because of course also, you know, it wasn’t until recently that people start using pole, but it automatically makes it this like gritty thing. I mean, outside of rapping, like rap music has always had like a big strip club culture, but now you have a lot of like, like rock bands or I guess rock bands have done that too, but it definitely has this kind of like badass vibe.
AMD: Like hair band type rock bands have done that. Like Guns N Roses and Def Leppard and those types of guys. But not so much like, um, Uh, what’s another, like Mumford and Sons?
FS: Yeah, that would be pretty sick. No, they wouldn’t.
AMD: Not so much like those guys.
FS: But then it’s either like, oh, like, stripper, like, ass shaking, or like, oh, look at this beautiful pole dancing that’s this art thing.
AMD: Which is great.
FS: Which is great. Which is great. Yeah. Which is great. But like, why can’t I It’s just hard for people to see that I can be smart and educated and productive and in charge of my artistry and in charge of myself and powerful but then also pole dance.
AMD: Yeah and it also makes me think of like how I I’m not going to just present myself as like I consider myself an entrepreneur and a businesswoman, but I’m gonna maybe show up to a thing where I’m wearing a really tight shirt, maybe it’s low cut, um, maybe I’m wearing a tight, slinky dress, and I’m not going to dress myself up in a way that’s palatable for other people because I’m doing business. It’s like, I’m going to continue to show up as myself and express myself how I choose, even though I’m doing business. I don’t have to wear a fucking suit for me to think businesslike and have a meeting. Um, so, you know, I think that’s just like, what is your image of a woman? And it’s like, you’re saying it’s like this one track mind. Oh, she’s wearing a suit. She’s this way. Oh, she’s wearing a tight dress. She’s this way. And that’s just people that’s just like, I don’t know what, what, where that comes from.
FS: I don’t know where that comes from either.
AMD: But it’s, it’s, it’s like having a linear one track mind as opposed to understanding that all different types of people are layered and diverse.
FS: Yeah, and just, it’s, it’s, I think our brain works in a capacity in that like, we need to label things. Okay, yeah. We need to put things in certain kinds of boxes. So that like, we can figure everything out.
AMD: Oh, yes, yes, you’re right. And we’ve learned this recently, you, why, like, Always needing to figure out, and like, explain in your head what this thing is, as opposed to just letting it be.
FS: Well I think it’s, it’s like maybe a survival kind of mechanism of not having to like process so many things and be so, Wee, everything is everything, but really be like, Oh, you’re this type of person, you serve this area, you do this, like, just kind of settling things.
AMD: And then what that does is it basically is classifying people and it has you put them in these different levels and so then you can choose to treat this person this way and choose to treat Because if you’re doing that with people, then you’re telling yourself and I, I’m just theorizing and philosophizing here. I don’t necessarily, you know, I’m speaking in general terms, but I feel like when you do that, it’s like, Oh, I’m going to this business woman I have respect for, and this slut in a tight dress I don’t, and so you modify maybe your behavior or your language around those types of people because of how you’ve labeled them yourself.
FS: And that’s natural. I mean, that’s normal as like to, to modify yourself in the way that you communicate with certain person based off of their appearance and to a certain extent, you know, like if someone has a cool laid back thing, I’m like, yo, what’s up dude? If they’re like, seem super uptight, I’m like, hello, Mr….
AMD: Yeah, but now you’re talking about their. personality projection, not necessarily based off of the way that they carry themselves and the way that they choose to present themselves as okay, but that said, but that said, I think that those narratives can be changed in the way of, of media, you know, like in the way of, of this podcast or seeing TV shows where, like you said, you know, a stripper is not some like damsel in distress. You know, where she is a businesswoman doing her own thing and we just haven’t seen that yet and I think that we are in an era where that’s starting to come up.
FS:Watch Dancing at the Blue Iguana.
AMD: I love Dancing at the Blue Iguana. We love it. It is the best stripper movie ever made. ever made. And the, just a little history on Dancing at the Blue Iguana. Sheila Kelly is in that movie. Um, and to prepare for that role, she went to strip clubs here in Los Angeles to watch strippers dance and learn from them. And she became so inspired by the strippers that she opened S Factor. And S Factor is all based off of the movement that she saw in the strip clubs. And then Sheila went on Oprah. Twice and during that time Terry Hatcher and Sheila were friends. So Terry Hatcher was taking classes. So Terry Hatcher also talked about s factor on Oprah So basically s factor was featured three times on Oprah and that was one of the catalysts for pole dancing skyrocketing as far as visibility. This is back in 2002, three, like very early two thousands. And so even though Sheila Kelly herself was not a stripper, she played one on TV and, or, and movies and learned from strippers. Little fact for any of you out there that think the strip club industry was built by Chinese and Asian men. Thank you, Sheila Kelly, for, uh, getting pole dancing as visible as it is. And yes, that movie is incredible. Mm hmm. Yeah, it’s like cult classic for sure. Thank you for bringing that up. You’re welcome. 100%. Um, I want to talk really quickly about some of the, um, shows and projects you have coming up and then we’re going to move into our next segment. So, um, what, what’s, what’s in the future for you of 2020? What’s going on 2020? Just like, yeah, rundown.
FS: Releasing an EP. Okay. Making more music. Uh huh. I would like to bring Foxercise to the world. So Foxercise is a dance class that I do. It’s a community class which, you know, just makes it affordable for people because I have found so much joy and confidence in myself and literally just putting on stripper heels and staring at myself in the mirror and being like, damn girl, you look fly. So I want to spread that to people, to women or, you know, people who identify with their feminine bodies. Um, so I want that to expand and grow and stretch out and, you know, in the same way of just educating people that like, it doesn’t feel bad to look at yourself and feel super sexy. You know, everybody needs to do it. And I even have friends who are just like,
AMD: That’s great.
FS: We just dance around on chairs and. Yes. You know.
AMD: It is really hot.
FS: Touch ourselves.
AMD: Hashtag Foxercise.
FS: Yeah. And um, making more music that is in alignment with, you know, with myself and my thoughts. I definitely think that’s I want to be a part of more projects, um, so I act as well and, and working on putting those projects together that are sending messages that I believe in. I’m really just not bullshitting anymore on something that I don’t believe does something good in the world. I think I used to be very self serving and now I’m just kind of on a mission to use my art to spread some awareness.
AMD: I love that. Thank you.
Stripper Tips
AMD: Ready? Pick one, pick one, pick one.
FS: No, I’m not ready. The first thing that came to my mind was about your tampon string. Tell, okay, fine. Well, just make sure you cut your tampon string or make sure you shove it up there or something But you know put in your butthole.
AMD: I mean that could even be useful for People taking pole dance fitness classes.
FS: Exactly, pole dance fitness classes or you know at a swimming pool But I think most women know that No, they don’t. You think they’re like, Oh my gosh, I’m on my period, I can’t wear panties.
AMD: No, I think, Well, first of all, In public, A million people are wearing panties on a regular basis, including myself.
FS: Oh no, I’m on my period, I can’t go to a,
AMD: Well, no, like the pool thing, like you said, sometimes the string slips out, am I right? Am I right, ladies? You gotta either cut it, or tuck it, or you line it up inside the ass crack.
FS: Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
AMD: But that one’s not, yeah, you line it up, Mm hmm.
FS: And you just stick it in your butt. In your butthole.
AMD: You don’t stick the actual string in your butthole. No, she doesn’t.
FS: Yes, she does. You don’t know me.
AMD: I do know you. And I know that that’s bullshit.
FS: I’ll send you a picture.
AMD: Okay. Please do. Can you actually show me a video of you doing that?
FS: Yeah, I will send you a tutorial and you can post it on this podcast, um, Footnotes.
AMD: Tampon string and butthole tutorial coming ASAP. Alright.
FS: You know, it seems pretty self explanatory, but if you want it, check the footnotes of this podcast.